I think I’m in love with the girl on the front page of the Mcdonalds website. She knows she’s eating fattening french fries that will speed up the cellular time bomb merrily ticking away the remaining years of her life, yet she’s completely blasé about it. You might even say she revels in it. There’s something about this picture that makes me feel all cheap and sexy while loving every minute of it. I consider myself something of a male slut, even though I just recently learned how to talk to girls without vomiting up a stream of highly acidic gastric fluids.