If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
1. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
2. Use CB lingo where applicable.
3. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
4. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this conversation.”
5. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you’re going with the lowest bidder.
6. Give them your address, exclaim “Oh, just surprise me!” and hang up.
7. Answer their questions with questions.
8. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
9. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST- EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.